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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t do memory care. We did for my Mom. Horrific. Call hospice and start in hospice. Keep the home health aide or get a new one. One that your trust, treat well and pay well. [/quote]

Our issue is the most beloved health aides were the ones who stole. People who take advantage don't look shady. They get close to you and become trusted. At Memory care we made sure there were no valuables. Definitely check some out. The settings can be lovely with beautiful gardens. For us the difference between that and the nightmare of aging in place was life-changing for everyone. Also if you do put an elder there give it at least a month. If they are still complaining spy a little. They played along with all of my MILs brain blips-if she thought she was still working, they called her for a meeting to get her to come to lunch. If she thought she was still raising young kids they said the sitter was here and she could go out to lunch with her friends. The woman in charge let me observe her at some activities and she was truly enjoying herself most of the time no matter what stage of life her brain was telling her she was in. Yes, she had unhappy moments too, but aging in place she was rotting and yes, she fell there too even with 1-1. The person was in the bathroom and then preparing lunch and had no idea she was on the ground the whole time and didn't hear her calls. There were all sorts of issues and when she complained poor treatment there were no witnesses and eventually there was nobody the agency would send to replace the last person she complained about. Oh and the person managing her care at home was accepting gift checks from her. It's one thing if we give a big tip to a good aide, but nobody should be accepting money from an elder, especially the person being paid the most.[/quote]

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