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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It isnt the inpatient vs outpatient rehab that's the problem.  The problem is he completely has to change his life afterwards. Get togethers with friends with no alcohol present, golfing with no alcohol present, work trips where he won't feel like he has to drink, etc etc. Those are the things that make sobriety hard. My brother wanted and tried to get sober for years and would be successful for a month or two after rehab. Then, he would be lonely and miss his friends whose get togethers would all center around alcohol and he would eventually relapse. It took moving to a new state and basically creating a new life from scratch for him to maintain sobriety.

I'm not saying it isn't possible for your husband, but it's going to be hard if he just goes back to thr life he has now and tries not to drink. [/quote]

Thanks - this sounds like the exact path he will be on. Moving and starting over isn't an option for several reasons (mainly personal/aging parents with illnesses). He's an extremely social person who thrives in a setting with friends/fun and drinking. [b]We've been married 15 years and it's become obvious this is just who he is. 
[/b]
Checking out Al-Anon[/quote]

You said it. This is key, and it's 100% true. In my marriage, I was the one with the alcohol addiction, and I didn't kick it until I was really "ready" to. I put ready in quotes because for me it came to a point where I found myself thinking more and more that it was the bottle or my life. But before that I had lied and disappointed everyone close to me. If I had had a large social life and social circle that revolved around alcohol it would have been really hard. And I don't think inpatient rehab would have made a difference.

But an even bigger issue is the cheating/sex workers and porn. I agree with the PP that said you should not remain in a relationship with a man who makes you unsafe. [/quote]

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