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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These all sound exactly like my DH. What is it with men and anger issues?[/quote]

Normally, it's the wife who makes the husband angry.  This example will sound stupid, but it's a perfect reflection of many issues.

Example: Why is it when a married couple driving somewhere the wife needs to give "direction" or "opinion" to the husband who's driving?  Watch that car.  Park here.  See that car?  Does the wife think if she wasn't in the car the husband wouldn't be able to drive?  Then the husband gets irritated with the feedback since he's been driving 20-30 years and probably a better driver than the wife.

If you read into these common situations, you realize the wife is the reason the husband is angry.  You don't see the husband angry when he's driving alone...[/quote]

This is funny because my husband does this to me while I drive. It’s not inherently men or women, it’s anger issues in both spouses. In your example though, the nagging shouldn’t result in an outburst. I would hope that as adults we can use our words and tell our spouse that the criticism is not helpful and please refrain from doing that. [/quote]

This is what would happen in one of my relationships except bigger put downs and I'm such a victim you don't care about me type of behavior despite trying to accommodate in some way whatever the request was that always involved me bending over backwards and then the person would keep doing it. To the point where I then got angry because my feelings and wishes were completely invalidated, and I was being treated like a distrusting person and they were asking me to do unreasonable things. I know that is an issue of mine that sometimes I shout saying back off or something when I've reached a boiling point, but some people are so anxious and passive aggressive like this that they think they can get away with it forever. Constantly be distrusting and because they just nag and put down so they feel at ease and in control or power it doesn't mean anything. At least with anger most people realize it's getting out of hand and there is a stopping point. We then stop and calm down and talk things through. With the belittling and distrusting and passive aggressive behavior there is often no end. At the end of any of these discussions would be some apology like I'm sorry if I said something that made you upset rather than having any self-realization on the actual behavior and why they were doing it.[/quote]

One example of this was when I needed to be picked up after an appointment in a big office complex after something that involved him as well while my car was being fixed that I was handling for both of us so I was hoping he would actually come up to the office to make sure he was in agreement with everything at the end which would have been the normal thing to do if we were both involved and he insisted that I walk down and meet him in some obscure parking lot and meet him right at 5 pm so he could get out of the parking lot easily. I assured him I did this for the price we discussed which had been his one concern before the appointment and asked if he was just reacting to the fear of the price and he assured me he just wanted to leave quickly. I asked if I could just call him when done because I wasn't sure the exact time I'd be finished or knew the exact parking lot he was talking about but knew we'd be done by 5:10 at the latest and could I just meet him at the front door of the office at the drop off. He refused saying I was being difficult and then went on to whine about the cost. This was actually something we had agreed upon as a Christmas gift to each other. Eventually I shouted because he was being unreasonable and not meeting me halfway on anything and I was handling the affair for both of us and setting a pickup time that worked with his schedule give or take 5 minutes. I was told that he was sorry if he upset me as an apology eventually but also told how he also had to call to get assurance on the financials himself. It was many of these passive aggressive behaviors and black/white thinking where no matter how much I accommodated him there would still be an issue.[/quote]

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