Reply to In-laws bizarre dynamic: living together edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm... kind of going to side the parents here. They don't have a legal right (they should have done some kind of life estate or trust situation), but they made it super clear what the plan was. "Always" have a room available, as long as they "need" it and the MIL clearly has health issues.

Deal was clear enough that OP saw it and wisely refused the offer. BIL and SIL took the deal and all that it entails.[/quote]

I agree. They sold it to family deeply, deeply discounted with the handshake agreement that they would still have a “claim” to stay there. These types of informal family relationships are fraught with danger when the unexpected happen, but both parties should adhere to the spirit of the agreement. If SIL and BIL couldn’t afford the house as full price, then they shouldn’t be stingy now.

HUGE fail of the MIL/FiL for not getting this agreement in writing as a part of the house sale, but that doesn’t give BIL/SIL the moral right to reneg on their informal agreement   [/quote]

I disagree, and this is why verbal agreements are so lousy, because they turn into a he said/she said situation. You don't know whether SIL was adequately briefed on the caretaking clause. I think SIL is the victim here. I have zero sympathy for that sneaky FIL, who in my view wasn't able to bamboozle OP, but did manage to bamboozle BIL because he's such a stupid pushover. FIL basically exploited two people who didn't realize what they were getting into.

Would any of you take that deal, where the house you've purchased for two thirds of the price isn't actually your house, FIL still occupies the best spots, and now you've got to take care of both FIL and MIL, for years?!?!

I would rather live in one-bedroom. I'm sure SIL would too.

[/quote]

Op here. I see both sides here too.

SIL is pissed she’s being asked to participate as a caretaker. 
MIL/FIL were supposed to contribute to the utilities, they do not. 
FIL refers to the house as "his house" in passing or reference still. 
I don’t think they were clear about the expectations of always having a room by design. From my understanding they would fully move all of their stuff out and only occupy a room occasionally (at least that’s how it was described to me when FIL suggested it).

They never moved their stuff out. They stay there probably 2 weeks of the month, SIL/BIL need to tip toe around MIL when she’s having an episode due to her fragile health. SIL doesn’t feel like it’s her home. [/quote]

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