Reply to SAHM and Dads: How did you know it was right for you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Emotionally, I just didn't want to send her to daycare. Before we moved to the new state, I worked at a great job, and had every intention of going back to that job at 8 weeks post partum. I don't know, if we had stayed in that state, if I really could have done that. I loved the job, but I don't know if I could have put my baby in daycare. [b]And I just have this feeling that the kids who have the highest self-esteem in life are the ones who spent the majority of their early formative years with their mom. Nobody loves you like your mom. [/b]I had the chance to be able to fill all the days of her first few years with total love. This is no dig against kids who go to daycare- they have some skills  that my daughter doesn't yet, like, I don't know, counting to 50. She can't do that. I don't think daycare is bad. I just wanted the positivity in my daughter's life that would come from spending the first part of her life home with me.  [/quote]

Thanks for qualifying your statement, but it really should be noted that your "feeling" about kids in daycare and self-esteem is, while perfectly valid as a personal feeling or opinion, not supported by any actual evidence.  There are plenty of children I know in daycare - including my own son - who are doing just fine in terms of self-esteem, and I believe that adults other than parents can support the development of healthy self-esteem, because I've seen it work firsthand.  My son is exposed to enormous amounts of positivity every day, has the opportunity to learn through play by interacting with other children, to accept from an early age that the world doesn't revolve around him (i.e. learning how to wait his turn, understanding the feelings/wants/needs of others), and that he will not be the best at everything.  He also has the chance to see both of his parents achieve goals and has the security to know that mommy and daddy sometimes leave but that we will always come back, and that he will be cared for while we are gone.  I believe this has instilled in him a great deal of confidence and self-reliance that will serve him well down the road.  Would he be floundering if I stayed home with him every day?  Of course not.  Does he sometimes wish he had more of our attention?  Most likely.  Do we sometimes wish that life wasn't so hectic?  Absolutely.  But the bottom line is that there are pros and cons to every decision, and there is no need for us women to justify our own personal decisions by questioning the impact of others' choices.  I applaud both men and women who can afford to stay home both financially and emotionally, because I know full well it is damned hard work, too.  And I would likely suck at being a FT SAHM (PT for work/life balance might work) so if  you are good at it, you are to be doubly applauded.  I personally believe that my professional job is 10x easier than being a FT SAHM.

OP - I believe wholeheartedly in gut instinct.  If you have the choice to stay home, and that is what your gut is telling you is right FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, then do it.  If you have ambivalence, perhaps you might want to try daycare or a nanny for a while and then evaluate how you are feeling.  [/quote]

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