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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you guys celebrate Christmas? I would either box her stuff up when you roll out the Christmas decorations, or if it’s too late for that now, I’d box them up afterwards for a fresh start with the new year.  I’d tell my husband either she’s leaving in January or I am.

It’s a rare case where you can have two women in one house.  This is clearly not working.  [/quote]

OP here, this is maybe one thing that has me more angry than anything - I can't put up any decorations or even the tree because her sh*t is everywhere.  I would love to box her stuff up and then put it out with a curb alert, but I am actually terrified of her.  She has a terrible temper, and we all walk on eggshells around her.  DH is also scared of her, which is why he allows this to go on.  I am a very conflict-avoidant person, as having someone shout at me makes me literally shake and feel sick, and I just cannot stand up to her.  I know it sounds like I'm a doormat - maybe I am - but I have been made to feel for so many years like I am the problem, and I just need to be friendlier and a better host.

Yes, she is from another culture.  (Please don't everyone try to guess, it's not that common and you won't get it.)  I am not from that culture, but it's hard to stand up to this stuff when every other person in the family sees me as the problem.  And it is a really really big family.  I don't want to leave my husband.  We have been married 25 years and have a tween, and he's otherwise a great husband, plus financially it's not feasible for me.  The fact that he is also unable to stand up to her, and that this puts him in such a bad situation and makes him unhappy, makes me want to be the bigger person and just put up with it for his sake, but there is a limit, and I feel like the limit is not that far away.  For the record, this is not the first time she's done this, which is why I suspect it could go on for several more months at least (even though DH keeps assuring me it won't, based on no evidence I can see), which is why I am so anxious. [/quote]

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