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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We don’t go to the ILs for Xmas because it was clear it was going to be done their way with no changes whatsoever.
I really didn’t want to never have any of my childhood traditions again. So we celebrate at home with our kids with a mix of DH’s and my traditions.

[b]I think you should be willing to have your Christmas evolve just a little bit with the new family member. [/b][/quote]

This.  Tradition can be an anvil dragging everyone down, or it can be a lovely thing that buoys family ties through the years.  It's a good idea to know when you've slipped from something nice to something annoying.

Being open to making some changes to how things are done is always a good idea.  I think the first Christmas away from their own family is always a little stressful for young adults.  Acknowledge that and ask questions.

I will never forget feeling teary and sad I was missing my own family's Christmas while with DH's family the first year.  NONE of them even acknowledged I HAD a family.  I brought a candy that we make every Christmas that meant a lot to me and I was excited to share it with them.  No one asked about it, and in fact they acted like it was strange (it's not!  It's chocolate and delicious!) since it wasn't something they normally had.  It was a small thing that really shifted how I felt about them over the years because it was indicative of the general way they treat me.  I am a member of their family, but no one else's.  It never would have occurred to them to ask how my family normally celebrates.[/quote]

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