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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- thank you for all your thoughtful insights. DD is 3.5 and has ASD. We have done and continue to work with behavior specialists/psychologists, as well as Speech and OT. I guess these interventions have helped to some degree, but it's so frustrating. I feel that we shouldn't still be having such a hard time with her given all the effort, time and $ involved. We can't see friends, go to a restaurant, vacation, etc without her ruining the experience. Ruining sounds so harsh, but it's true- she ruins our quality of life and takes away from what we are able to offer our other child (NT). I am just so burnt out- I wish every interaction with her wasn't so laborious. There are brief moments when she's not insufferable, but it's not enough. I do try and get help/babysitters when possible, but it only takes a few minutes with DD before I feel I desperately want to get away from her. I know parenting is hard, but never anticipated this type of unyielding misery.[/quote]

OP, this is your reality. I think you need to accept it on a level that you have not. I have felt like you, I do get it. For starters, she is still only 3. I think you need to understand that it will never be like it was before (I'm guessing your NT is older?) Also, I think that you really need to do some of those things you mentined without your child. Go out regularly with your spouse for date nights. Go on one or two brief trips a year with your spouse or with your NT child. The thing I had to let go of was that no matter how much "work" is put in, DD will never be like her sibs. You aren't going to fix her and you no longer have the life of a mom without an autistic child. You never will. Somehow you need to learn to love and appreciate her for who she is. A lot of it may have to do with your past and temperment, definitely your expectations. I'm sure that both of your kids can tell that you desperately want to get away from her and it is harmful to all of you. Please get help for yourself for the sake of everyone. If you do, and start to enjoy DD, you may find her behavior settles down too, just like any kid. Medication for a bit (antidepressant) was very helpful to me. [/quote]

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