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[quote=Anonymous]Weight and food is such a fraught topic in our culture and unless someone has had to wrestle with the darker side of it, it's very easy to over simplify it and therefore feel superior.  There's a lot of privilege showing in some of these responses, and a lot of fat phobia, and a lot of unhelpful judgement.

My DH is obese and has a serious eating disorder on one end of the spectrum (and so.much.family.history of depression, anxiety, and disordered eating of all kinds in his family - lots of multi-generational trauma) and a DD who is recovering from anorexia on the other side of the spectrum (hi, genetics + trauma she herself experienced + reaction to her dad's eating disorder) - my DS and I are normal weight.

I can validate that your husband's commentary on your child's eating is not helping and very much harming your child.  I understand the desire for people to think that it's helpful and that framing the conversation around food as healthy habits and "good" food vs. "bad" food feels protective but it's simply not.  In reality it does far more harm than good when there are deeper issues.  And if a family succeeds in avoiding major weight problems or disorders based on this strategy - good for them - I pat them on the back - I'm happy to tell them it's due to their very good parenting.  In reality - it's likely some good luck, some good genetics, and some easy personalities.

We've had to tap into a lot of professional help along the way.  https://lookwithinnutrition.com is a good place to start, OP.  She would have recommendations if a consultation with an eating disorder therapist might be helpful to lay out how some of the things at play here are a disordered relationship with food (for your DH in particular).  Sending you all the best.
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