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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I probably made the behavior sound worse than it is. To be clear, the 4yo does not hit. The 2yo will sometimes hit if a toy is snatched, which is why I mentioned that we are used to being hyper vigilant about any crowding or toy snatching that might lead to that behavior. We let our kids have some verbal disagreements and ask them to problem solve (ie ask a grownup to set a timer for turns) instead of immediately refereeing verbal disputes.

The only-child cousin has hit a few times because he doesn’t have experience with conflict over toys. I don’t know the overwhelmed signs to prevent the conflict when it’s my nephew like I know in my own 2yo. I separate the kids if it happens, or if I see them getting too wound up, but don’t have a perfect 100% record.

I know my nephew starts hitting with other kids as well, but frankly, my in-laws blame the other kids because their child doesn’t hit when there are no other kids around. This will all get much better next year or the year after, but looking to see how other parents have handled this phase. I see that I probably need to be much more involved in policing toy turn-taking, but I’m also so freaking tired and wish everyone could tolerate some frustration amongst the kids (as long as it doesn’t escalate to physical aggression, obviously). [/quote]

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