Reply to Absolutely no sex drive…and minimal sexual attraction

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Absolutely no sex drive…and minimal sexual attraction "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]op, this is going to sound pretty basic and cliché, but please read Come as You Are, if you haven’t. It’s not actually new science, but it does explain the differences between spontaneous and responsive desire. While I knew the issue (and kind of disliked the book), the repetition that I was normal was helpful. Also, the validation that I needed to be an *active participant* in my own sex life was helpful.

I’m maybe like you. I’m not in the mood almost ever, despite a healthy “libido” in the past. I think I described it on another post recently that I’d almost rather scrub grout some days and think I’d have the same satisfaction.

That said, I know I enjoy it once I’m on board, so I decided to lean into it a little. I listen to podcasts, erotica, whatever. We have toys which help things lean towards me having a “happy ending” even if I’m not initially into it. I try to weave a lot of things into the day. It honestly helps. Some days, it feels like a chore, but it has greater benefit than most chores as it makes me feel good in the end, and DH feels happier and more connected.

You’re normal, and it’s hard. It’s feels like one more chore, and that’s hard. I get it. But weigh the cost benefit. Little things can make a lot of difference though.

(I’d have answered more, but wanted to keep it readable).

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics