Reply to Knowledge of my dead parent's long-term affair is incredibly painful

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Etc me guess you were always a bit smug about having the perfect family and parents with the perfect relationship.
And now you have to be an adult and realize perfect doesn't exist.
Time to grow the hell up.
This really doesn't concern you at all.
Yet you've decided to make it your personal tragedy that suggests a degree of narcissism and inappropriate levels of codependency.
[/quote]

Yikes, aren't you charming?

OP it is a normal human thing to feel the way you do.  You've been disillusioned about a person who you thought you knew well, and you now know that person intentionally lied to you and everyone else.  It's hard to reconcile the person you loved with the person's deeds.

If you can't work through this on your own, of course a therapist could help.

Also, it IS true that part of growing up is accepting that our parents aren't perfect people.  Of course, it's one thing to be less-than-perfect and another thing to be a liar and cheater and then mix sex up in there and you've got a real emotional crisis on your hands, I get it.

You just have to love your parent for the good person they were and try to separate out that their sexual activites don't relate to you. Lots of people are sexually immoral, they just keep it secret.  Your parent is not that unusual. And it doesn't mean they didn't love you. [/quote]

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