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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to hear from others who feel this way...and maybe others that find it so devastating when their DH cheats.  I feel so bad bc I see the hurt it causes some people, but I just don't think that my reaction would be all that intense.  I also don't really know why I feel this way, so I'm hoping that if I hear others maybe it'll help me figure it out.  [/quote]

I'm the poster who's husband had an emotional affair (got way too close/connected to a coworker). In a way I was in your boat, while it was happening things were so bad between us that I ignored signs, or confronted him and accepted his explanations. He was talking about this woman all the time and I knew they were spending time together, but I didn't do anything to stop it. I didn't say, hey, what's going on with us? Should we do counseling? Our sex life is really stale, let's talk about the reason we aren't connecting. Since becoming parents things have changed. Let's deal with it.

Instead I just retreated to my own life - our child, work, my friends and family, etc. So I enabled it, because like you, I didn't care. I think a part of me was thinking "she can have him. he is a jerk. I'm the breadwinner, I do way more of the parenting, I support him in all his extra stuff and interests outside work, and he doesn't see me as anything other than a mom. he doesn't desire me, and in response I can't and won't care. I'm just going to shut down."

An EA would never have happened our first 5 or more years together. We were connected and I would have nipped it in the bud. So yes, I can relate. You are not feeling connected to your husband right now. The good thing is you have identified it hopefully before either of you had an affair. Now is the time to take action if you want to save  your marriage. Counseling is one option, either for you both or just you. [/quote]

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