Reply to Did disagreement over elder care cause a permanent rift among your siblings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another example of an argument that is not over money...

Sibling sides with parent regarding avoiding residential setting with supports. Parent is prone to fits of rage and won't stay on meds. Aides cannot make them take meds. We can no longer have parent for holidays or meet parent out in public for holidays because the tantrums have traumatized one of my kids so much we got therapy and it despite getting my own therapy I cannot take another fit. Nobody wants to spend holidays with parent. If parent were in residential setting, parent would have others to eat with for holiday and we could visit, quickly leave if tantrum beginning and know staff will help parent calm down. Even better, staff can make sure parent stays on calming meds so tantrums don't happen. [/quote]

+1  Mom had opportunity to move into a new luxurious continuing care apartment with now-deceased dad but refused so both parents had to rely on never-left-home bro who, not surprisingly, sided with mom against dad. Dad gave up and withdrew reservation. Other parents we knew were very happy at this CCC. Mom turned out to have dementia, which bro refused to acknowledge and turned mom against attempts of other siblings and had her disinherit other siblings and grandchildren.  Never would have believed this would have happened to our family since we were very close growing up. Still struggling with this.[/quote]

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