Reply to Did disagreement over elder care cause a permanent rift among your siblings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Money is splitting my husband’s hitherto tight-knit family. Money related to eldercare and inheritance.

It’s always money.
[/quote]

One or a few don't want to spend on the parents' care and one or more want to do so?[/quote]

It's complicated and the financial tension is revealing that some siblings don't trust each other. That's what family crises boil down to - in happy times, everyone can forget about other relatives' flaws, but in times of stress, when you depend on others, it's much harder to ignore.

Right now, my husband is fighting with his brother over disbursement of money, ostensibly for MIL, but there's also now an early inheritance component that should have been kept separate and that BIL is making a condition of spending on MIL. It doesn't make sense on its face, but the truth is that he feels he can't trust my husband to keep clean accounts, and that's why he's mixing everything up and demanding all the accounts be settled ASAP. I understand his fear, because my husband is a poor communicator, even if from my point of view, I don't think my husband would ever short-change him. But in the short-term, this fight is hurting MIL and the two brothers are both digging in their heels and being quite stupid about it.
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