Reply to Tell me about your experience if you divorced while both kids were in HS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I divorced when the kids were in high school.  Due to unfortunate timing it was at the very beginning of the school year, which wasn’t ideal.  I’d recommend well into the year or over the summer to separate so they’re settled in.  My XH moved about 15 minutes away, zoned for another school.  We were 50/50 and the kids would be driven to school by their dad in the mornings, and would ride the bus to my place and their dad would pick them up after work on his weeks (we were one week on, one week off).

As soon as the oldest started driving they’d stay at my place on their dad’s weeks until it was time to head to their dad’s for dinner or sometimes just to sleep, to check the box they were with their dad on his week.  Their dad moved on very, very quickly though and would sometimes be out on dates or have random women over on the weeks he had the kids, so the kids really didn’t want to be around that.  He quickly remarried and moved about 30 minutes away.  Kids saw him less and less and now that they’re out of the house they see him a few times a year.  I think he visited their colleges once every year or two (with his new family) when they were away- I don’t think he’s done anything one on one with them since he got remarried.

Byproduct of this situation is that I’m incredibly close with them.  I’ve never, ever disparaged their father.  But I have always been there to support them.  That’s the important thing.  I put them first always.  They didn’t choose this life (neither did I but I play the hand I was dealt).  I honestly don’t think I’d have close the relationship with them that I do now if the divorce didn’t happen- we were always walking on eggshells because we never knew what mood their dad would be in, and as his wife I tried to be supportive of him so I’d make excuses and take his side more than I should have.  [/quote]

OP here, thank you, PP for this very vulnerable and detailed post. I'm so glad your relationship with your kids is so close! [/quote]

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