Reply to How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to get over someone you had the most incredible chemistry with"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time, give it some time.
Can the logistic situation change? Ours might change soon and gives us some hope.[/quote]

I dont think the logistics can change, not without colossally shifting both our lives (and even then, possibly still no).  That's what makes me sad.  It all feels very final and like such a missed opportunity [/quote]

That’s all BS. You are both choosing to break up for valid reasons. You are prioritizing other things over your relationship. Which is fine. But own it, accept it, and move on.  But even if you did stay together, amazing chemistry fades with time. [/quote]

Well no, we didn't really choose it.  That's kind of the point.  Not sure why people on DCUM have some kind of a narrative they always insist on and then try to bludgeon/twist the arm of the OP until they agree to go along with it.  Maybe an intellectual inability to conceptualize that others have different lived experiences? [/quote]

New poster. OP, you are absolutely accurate above when you point out the classic DCUM tendency to insist on one narrative and then criticize an OP if the OP says no, that's not my situation. I'm sorry. It's endemic here. I understand where you're coming from and understand that the "Logistics! You are choosing to break up!" etc. posts have zero grasp of your feelings. They want to browbeat you into some kind of admission of [i]responsibility[/i] they think you're avoiding, when that is [i]not[/i] necessarily the case.

As someone who has been where you are (though of course our individual circumstances are just that--individual, and unique), I can say:

You may never "get over it." That's not meant to be cruel or harsh; it's actually freeing, if you can embrace the idea that you had an experience that was worthwhile in itself, but you will never replicate it.

OP, think of this period as grieving -- you are grieving a loss, much like a kind of death. It's OK to grieve it, to feel angry, hollow, helpless, then resigned. Let yourself grieve it but do not wallow. I intentionally chose to keep myself very occupied with other things, work, volunteering I valued, and traveling to visit friends, for a period of time. The relationship, because of the chemistry, was intense and inwardly focused between the two of us, so it helped immensely to reach outward on purpose and get more involved with others (in non-dating, non-romantic ways, of course). I am not saying blithely, "Volunteer and you'll feel better!" Not at all. But consider if there are ways to be around other people, seeing other needs, or just visiting friends who do not know this person and with whom you have a long, positive history. It helps. It won't "get you over him," but it will get you back into the rest of your life. I did meet and marry the best person for me, a few years later, and we've been married for decades, so there's a life and a more mature, if less chemistry-driven, relationship out there for most of us.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics