Reply to How can we avoid getting 'left behind' as the surviving spouse if dementia sets in?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Start setting up deeper friendships now. [/quote]

Sure make friendships for your mental health and brain health and for quality of life, but you should not "make friends" because you need favors. My parents had plenty of long term close friends for decades and if you become combative they fade. Now they may give you a wake up call first by either expressing concern that you have changed or telling you where to shove your attitude and rudeness, but the problem is with dementia you can often lack self-awareness so with my mother for example it is always, always the other person must be totally crazy.Now before my mom's decline she had an older friend who just became sweeter and more childlike and mom and others didn't visit because it was "too upsetting."

So my point is you develop the abusive type of dementia you should not even want someone to endure abuse to get you properly placed-be it a child or friend because it is extremely damaging and the abuse usually goes on for years before you comply. The most you can hope for is a neighbor to call APS and for APS to actually act. We all need to either consider continued care or other options if abusive dementia is a real possibility.[/quote]

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