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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah OP.  It’s reasonable to sit down with your spouse and come up with an upper limit on the budget for both solo trips, especially if money is tight.  And while you have kids at home, it’s reasonable to come up with an upper limit on the amount of time you will be away and your partner will be a solo parent for both of you. If you have kids at home, it’s reasonable to check with your spouse on timing before you book, so you don’t end up with a conflict with work travel or a huge work deadline (big trial for lawyers, early April for accountants, etc).

But unless there is something else compelling and unusual going on (disabled spouse, significantly disabled kid, etc), you are an adult and don’t need to ask permission  You can just tell your spouse that this is happening, set a boundary and don’t move. Especially if he already travels without you.

My kids are in college. I’m traveling to Costa Rica for ten days this winter w/my SIL. And going to Playa del Carmen for 3 nights with my BFF a month later. I also travel with DD for long weekends after college ends for the year.  I have seasonal affective disorder and have been traveling alone or with a friend or (usually) by SIL for 15 years.

Your marriage is important. But, it’s healthy to nurture other relationships. Or, if you need it, to spend time alone.  DH has always said he was fine with my travel And I think he was. But he didn’t do his own travel until recently. Now he goes and skis 1-2 weekends each winter and does a week long workshop for his hobby that’s often flyable. We have a budget, and money comes out of our paychecks and oUt in a travel account.

And we travel together as well. For a long weekend for our anniversary and this upcoming summer, to Europe for 17 days. But, our interests and preferences don’t completely overlap.  So, it’s more fun (and less expensive) to do some things solo.

And you shouldn’t feel guilty. Sometimes our budgets don’t match our desires. BUt, if you’ve never travelled solo?  And never treated yourself?  And have a lot of savings?  What are you saving for if not to do some things you enjoy or splurge now and then.

And your husband may ask for a vacation home in return. But that’s ridiculous. Reasonable is spending about the same amount of time and money to do something they want.

And if your husband pouts and stamps his feet, that says something not to great about him and your marriage. Stand up for yourself now, stand up for yourself later or be prepared to be resentful and have an unhappy marriage— especially once kids go to college and time frees up.

Go!  And don’t beg, plead, ask permission or agree to a lopsided “deal”. Don’t feel guilt or look back. you are an adult, you can decide to travel within your budget, then go for it. [/quote]

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