Reply to When do looks/personality start to matter in social dynamics?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop mentally damaging your kid with these stupid "personality and popularity" expectations at such a young age.[/quote]

Popularity, especially in the context of school, is often arbitrary and very shallow. A popular child might not have a single actual friend, just lots of hangers-on. Meanwhile an unpopular child might have 2-3 great friendships and excellent social skills, but simply not be on the radar of most other kids in class. In terms of social skill development, popularity is a very poor measure. It's fine if your kid is popular, but I'd be looking more at their actual relationships and behavior within those relationships, then counting how many kids are inviting them to birthday parties.

And personality is so changeable, especially at a young age. The worst thing you can do to a kid is pigeonhole them as having a certain personality. I've seen so many kids go from shy and reserved to confident and talkative in a short period of time. Likewise I've seen boisterous trouble-makers settle down and become more serious with age, or with the development of an interest that focuses their energy. Kids tend to be super reactive to outside stimuli, so a lot of their personality can simply be a reaction to home environment, school environment, academic experiences, etc.

Also kids often behave very differently with peers or at school than they do at home. I tend to think the at home personality is most important and most "true" because it's who they are when they feel most comfortable and at ease. At least if the kid has a good, loving home environment, this is true. But it can take time for kids to reach a level of comfort with others to express that version of themselves at school or among friends.[/quote]

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