Reply to Loneliness when you come from dysfunctional family

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP. Not having supportive, healthy, involved, emotionally-cheering-you family SUCKS. Not even a big happy family - what I wouldn’t give for so much as ONE such relative, much less two, or something unthinkable like … multiple family members like this. 
The only people who get it are ones in the same boat. Sorry to my friends who tried to commiserate, but having an uncle who went to jail once, or a dad who gave a really awkward toast at your wedding, or parents who moved from your hometown to the next state over, is not remotely what we are dealing with here (all real examples given to me by others). 
OP, this may not want to be what you want to hear, but since like you, friends/church/“chosen community” were not enough to impact this *specific* pain and longing for me, I decided to just accept this is one of my lots in life, and that it will not change, I have no control over, and it will never not suck. I also had no control over being tall, pretty, academically talented. Those were freebies; gifts. And I have no control over the fact my family sucks, I’m hard of hearing, I was hit by a drunk driver, and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t ask for and don’t want. 
It doesn’t stop being painful but I have found some freedom in just accepting it sucks and that others who aren’t like me have a huge invisible privilege. 
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