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[quote=Anonymous]I also have parents who are not proactive. They claim they want to downsize/move closer to me/make a change yet in the past 10-15 years have taken no actual action toward that desire. It's been all talk, every year. I've offered all the help I can but I finally had to step back for my own sanity. I am at the point that no change will happen until change HAS to happen. Yes it sucks and will cost more but I cannot force grown adults to do something (and I've considered doing just that).

I am fortunate that I have a husband who has seen everything I've gone through and tried and will support me when the time comes. I love my parents and it hurts to see them so unhappy in a big house they cannot maintain like they used to. But, like I've told them, I am happy to help in any way, but I cannot decide for them. Either they can make a change on their own, or they will be forced to make a change that may not be ideal.

P.S. Reading your update, I at least am the one with more bandwidth in life so if something happened I could drive up and help (and I'm an only so it's all on me). I can understand why it would be stressful for you knowing that your H cannot. I will say that the "A Place for Mom" people were really helpful for me, even though my parents never acted on any of their suggestions.[/quote]

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