Reply to Elders sometimes become abusive toward those they were closest to, so please don't insert yourself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been working in home health, mostly eldercare and often hospice status care, for the last near decade. The experience has been eye opening for me in terms of these issues. I'm the poster from the deeply dysfunctional family who posted above, so I have a lot of context I bring to the job. I consider myself a fairly perceptive empathic person - and I have definitely recognized on many occasions that the sweet patient who treated me so kindly was actually quite awful to the kids with whom they resided or who visited them. If you pay attention and you've had the experience yourself, you see the little tells that give away even a very manipulative person when they interact with their kids. You can see the pain in the kids faces, too.

[b]I don't judge any kids who stay away from their parents. I always assume there is a very good reason they can't bear to see them.[/b][/quote]

Thank you for your inside perspective.  This is very true. We do our best, but there is just too much history, and older people are set in their ways, so if they were stubborn to begin with, their difficult personalities are compounded in age. [/quote]

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