Reply to Elders sometimes become abusive toward those they were closest to, so please don't insert yourself

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[quote=Anonymous]Just here to agree and add my own story to the mix. Narcissistic Mother (NPD undiagnosed) and divorced father from a young age who we only saw on the occasional weekends. He cheated and beat my mother. Both parents had multiple marriages and divorces. Both parents were too wrapped up in their own relationships and lives when I was growing up to be decent or present parents. We were neglected kids often left home alone for days on end with little food, medical care, etc. - even Christmas and other holidays we were left alone while our parents were off with whomever across the country. Now, here I am in my 40s with my own family and demanding career left with two parents who are still divorced/single, aging, and suddenly expect their children who they largely neglected to be there to care for them in their old age. And boy, our society really loves to tell us (guilt us) into caring for our parents (especially if we are women). I also often have people come up and say, "Oh, your mother is so kind and fun" or "What I would do if MY mother was still alive...."

Nope. Not everybody came from a loving household with loving parents.

I am there to help my mother in her elderly age within limits for whatever reason. My siblings often question why when she's been mean to me most of my life. The relationships we have with our mothers is hardwired and weird, but with a narcissistic parent you HAVE to set your own boundaries and limits or they will suck all the life out of you. 
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