Reply to Any downsides to not being in the popular group if a kid is happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is in an intermediate grade at a K-8 school. For years she was on the fringes of a friend group that was mostly girls from one of the fancier neighborhoods that the school attracts students from, and a lot of those girls come from very privileged families. They also run their kids' social lives through high school and beyond and have a lot of social capital on our community.

We are definitely still privileged but at a different level, and we are mixed race so we never quite fit in with the rich people who share my ethnicity or the super social people who share DH's ethnicity. I was honestly relieved when DD started to find a small group of true friends who really get her and who are more on the fringes of things. They're smart girls who do a variety of activities, and they have parents from all different backgrounds who are similar to my DH and I in terms caring about academics without being competitive, having rules about social media, etc.

My question is this: is there any downside from not being in the "in" or socially powerful group as long as a kid has friends, feels confident and is happy? For example, my DD doesn't do school activities like theater, so I'm not worried about her n[b]ot getting picked for the play because she doesn't have the same social capital as other kids. But I do wonder if teachers use popularity as a proxy for confidence or competence and if it will affect things like letters of recommendation for HS applications, middle school course selection, or leadership projects. [/b][/quote]

This is a private school? You pay to be treated this way?[/quote]

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