Reply to Just accepting unequal division of labor

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d have a conversation about chore division, agree on the division, and then make checklists that you hang on the fridge or wherever it is he goes most and will see it. [b]And completely feel free to remind him after the kids are in bed to go do whatever is on his list.[/b] [/quote]

This is so annoying though. Having to remind someone to do their share of the work is just more exhausting than doing the chores yourself. [/quote]

It is annoying but you’re overstating it IMO. [/quote]

I agree. I’m the person with the ADHD husband, but he actually does a lot around the house. There are certain things he does that require zero reminders from me — trash, laundry, sweeping. But, the reality is that I need to sit with him once a week and go through the schedule for the upcoming week. He is simply never going to remember all the one off scheduling changes that happen. And I cannot make an offhand remark about a change and expect it to resonate. But, if I sit down and have him put it all in his calendar, we are good. Does it sometimes annoy me to have to talk him through the calendar? Sure. But, I do lots of annoying things too. On balance, we are very happy and have a very strong marriage.[/quote]

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