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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMG - this might be me.

My husband is really mean. He is loyal and kind until it doesn’t go his way and then he’s out for blood (with me, my mother, our teenage son). In almost all disagreements, he hits below the belt. He’s out to win rather than solve the problem.

He sees no value in friends but constantly forgives his family who have not been kind to me or my teenage son. Our younger son has a serious mean streak and what’s interesting is that my husband is so kind and patient with him. He’s only nice to him. Our older child is so kind but has definitely been influenced by his fathers mean comments and need for control. He’s more shy and empathetic. I know he loves his dad but avoids him.

I was an emotionally neglected child whose parents made me grow up fast because they were busy traveling and going out with friends. I became a bit of a fighter because I needed to (by fighter I just mean standing up for myself or for what is right. I’ve never been in a physical fight and don’t look for conflict.)

My husband has influenced my sense of confidence when arguing with others but I live in fear I will fight as dirty as he does.

This is an interesting question OP and is really making me think. I wonder what my life would be like if I married a happy person.

[/quote]

Hi PP. Your DH doesn't sound nice. After posting this I remembered the "you become the 5 people you're around the most" saying and figured that is what happened to my mom and friend. My mom got markedly meaner after the pandemic - I think maybe being around my dad more and others less caused her to change. For my friend, I think (after getting divorced myself) we tell ourselves things are normal and the way things just are when really we are deceiving ourselves. [/quote]

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