Reply to Found a hotel notepad from a hotel we've never stayed at

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the notepad disappearing is more of a red flag than its existence is by itself. Because that was either a weird coincidence, or he saw you noticing it and realized his error in that moment.

My husband did have an affair when our kids were 5 and 2. He had a much shorter fuse than normal, like you describe. Three months before our actual DDay I saw a WhatsApp notification from a woman he had never noticed on his lock screen. I don't play games; I didn't go into detective mode. I just said, "Hey, I noticed a Whatsapp from a woman you've never mentioned. Should I feel weird about this?" He tried to avoid lying and said, "Well DO you feel weird about it?" a few times, and I kept saying, "No I'm asking you IF I should feel weird about it," until he finally said, "Oh, um, no" and gave some story about her being part of a group message.

And I guess I shouldn't have let it drop then, but I didn't get married to be a cross-examiner, and if I can't take him at his word, then what is the point? So I accepted it, but my suspicions were definitely up. So three months later when she Facetimed while he was in the shower, I did spend five minutes telling him I didn't believe she had butt dialed someone she didn't have on her recent call log, and then he confessed to the affair. I guess I could have cut out the three intervening months if I'd done more in the beginning, but hindsight is 20/20, and I am glad that I stayed true to myself throughout.

Good luck, OP. I hope it's nothing. But whether it is or it isn't, why not just ask? If he lies, then a) that's a symptom of a bigger issue and b) you'll figure out the truth sooner or later. I don't see what you have to lose by asking. What's the point in being married if you can't ask a simple question and expect an honest answer.[/quote]

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