Reply to Christmas...and ONLY Christmas

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Christmas...and ONLY Christmas"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you live near your parents.  His parents ARE losing out.  You need to suck it up.  Have some Christmas spirit.  Stop being so nasty.  [/quote]

NP. They DEMAND things, insist on putting commitments into writing (insane) and refuse repeatedly to see OP and family any other time. OP and her DH do offer other options at other times of year. There is no law, religious or otherwise, saying one is required to spend Christmas with a grandparent--or anyone else. OP and DH are not the "nasty" ones here, but his parents sure are, with their emotional blackmail about "hurt." Do not drag the proximity to OP's parents into this; that's a non-starter because OP already clearly said she/DH/kids are keenly aware of that fact and have spent Christmas after Christmas with his parents.

OP, in your shoes, I would (1) make DH the sole point of contact for them but only after you and he have a firm plan and are both 100 percent on board--he's also as upset about their demands as you are, right? 
(2) Plan an at-home Christmas with your family, as in you, DH and kids. Period. No grandparents from either side on the day. But if you want to see your parents later over the holiday period, do it. The in-laws will get mad when they hear it. Let them. You have every right in the world to start saying Christmas Eve and Day from now on are for you as a nuclear family. 
(3) When your DH calls to tell them this is your own nuclear family Christmas, he should also have a specific offer of a specific date for a visit at another time. If they say no, it doesn't work for them to come for New Year's or whatever -- "I'm sorry that won't work for you. Think about dates in spring that DO work and we can set something up after the holidays."

The fact you've offered to see them many different times of year yet they hone in on Christmas as the one and only time to visit -- that is terribly selfish and manipulative of them. Stand up to them this year and keep making other offers that work for YOUR own family and when the in-laws complain and say they're hurt blah blah blah, your DH can legitimately respond every single time, "I'm sorry you feel that way. We offered X dates for visits in the past Y months but none ever seem to work for you. Please remember -- we're offering dates and solutions but Christmas isn't on that list. What do YOU suggest for dates?" [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics