Reply to What does it mean if I'm tempted to do something extreme to try to get dh to pay attention?

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Reply to "What does it mean if I'm tempted to do something extreme to try to get dh to pay attention?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't even mean having an affair. 
I've been working so hard for so long and navigating health problems including cancer last year, colitis, a SN kid, and am exhausted, burned out beyond belief. I keep trying to get dh to engage in taking actions to help me take the gas off the pedal but he only pays lip service - eg if I say we need to move to lower COL area he says 'fine' but does nothing to help, and I am back to back for 10-12h per day so can be hard to make traction. I tried to engage him recently in a choice of new jobs for me and it was like pulling teeth. I have said to him - I am about to shatter into a million pieces pls help me figure out how to not do that and he just... doesn't care.

A huge part of me is tempted to just quit my job for a year and completely leave it to him to figure out how to deal for once. Or SOMETHING. I feel like I am screaming and no one is listening. 
[/quote]

I mean this really kindly because I know what it feels like to be about to shatter into a million pieces, but the things you listed (moving to a lower COL area and finding a new job for you) are very big issues with no easy path forward. If I asked my husband for help with those things he may be able to try to break them down into understandable chunks but he may also be so overwhelmed that he doesn’t know what to do. Sometimes people need concrete examples of ways to help. So maybe you’d get more traction by saying “could you take care of Johnny from 8-2 on Saturday so I could get some things done” or something along those lines. I understand that it’s infuriating to have to ask someone so specifically for things because it feels like that’s just one more thing you have to do, but it might help in this case. Good luck. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And find a friend who will listen to you scream even if they can’t fix anything. Just so they can give you a hug. [/quote]

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