Reply to Living with my Dad is so hard

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Moving parents into a house with your kids is a disaster. It’s exhausting and steals so much time from your spouse and children.

They should move to continuous care facilities where they can live independently and have their own identity and friends.

Reclaim your life and enable your dad to have one of his own,[/quote]

“Steals so much time.”

Wow. That’s really dehumanizing.  An aging person’s needs reduced to “theft.”

“They should move.”

No they shouldn’t. They should have the money to stay home with full time live in care and attention. But almost nobody can afford that. Just like the vast majority of older people can’t afford to just move to a “continuous care facility.”

There’s no one size fits all solution to these situations, least of all a glib dismissal of the elderly as not even worthy of human dignity.

[/quote]

Sorry you did not save and now you will be a burden to your children.

Yes, if you can’t be a full adult with your own life and your own living arrangements (unless you are disabled) you are irresponsible. You are a burden and you are stealing precious moments children should spend with their parent.

You are selfish and irresponsible.

Get a life and visit with your family once a week or once a month but don’t live with them.[/quote]

Where did you learn to hate like this?[/quote]

It's love not hate. Where did you learn to be so passive aggressive and needy and blame everybody for your own failings.

I cared for my parents until the day they died but they lived 15 minutes from me and made sure they had friend, activities and outings... with people their own age. Family was close and they were able to see their grandkids on the regular. They were strong, active and independent until their final weeks/months.

I truly feel for people who spent their whole live spending money and not saving and find themselves in a pickle but own you own decisions.  Actions have consequences. [/quote]

PP, you have a very narrow POV and world of experience. Yes, there are plenty of parents who blew through cash and expect their children to subsidize their lives. But there are plenty of others who worked and worked, yet never earned enough to live in the way that your parents were able to do till their final days. Some worked so hard that their bodies, even their minds, are now failing them.

Where the love is in your post is a mystery to me and probably other readers.[/quote]

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