Reply to Husband told me he hates me and mocked me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have severe anxiety and before I was in treatment I would react like this (occasionally, and not as extreme as this DH sounds- but I would be mean in an unhelpful way). Now I am in therapy and it doesn’t happen anymore, I’ve worked (hard) on coping mechanisms.

But if your DH doesn’t see a problem, you can’t fix it.[/quote]

This post above is perceptive--and useful. OP, re-read it. Then look at your own post. You say this one incident is an example of a normal day in your marriage. Don't focus on the one incident (I know, easy to say but hard to do, but you need big picture focus now).

Focus on this: If this is normal for you -- and it is absolutely not normal in any remotely healthy relationship -- is it possible that, like the PP above, your DH has a much, much deeper issue?

Sit down solo, write out a list of what seems to trigger these things, events, times of day, how long this has been going on, etc. [i]If this is a change and he didn't used to turn on you and act this way, then realize that a change is a huge red flag for things like anxiety, depression (which in men often comes out as anger, OP!), etc[/i]. In other words, this may not be about him or about you or about the marriage; it may be about his having a condition that manifests in behaviors like these. That is NOT an excuse for his behavior, but it may be an explanation, OP. Sit and really think it through and then I'd make an appointment for him to see his doctor for an overall health screening and I'd tell him that it needs to include depression/anxiety screening as well, and that you have already made an appointment with a marriage therapist. Stat. If he continues, or refuses, tell him you are going to consider separating.

I really hope you don't have kids. If you do, I'd move even faster to separate physically while deciding if he is ill and would agree to treatment or not. [/quote]

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