Reply to How to support DH with ailing ILs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You'd better hope they don't come closer, OP. It entirely sucks to be the go-to adult child caregiver, even if there's money to hire professional caregivers.

So be discreet for now. [/quote]

What are your own plans for your old age?[/quote]

PP you replied to. I'm an only child, and plan on helping my parents. I also try to model loving care to my kids, whom I hope will have some modicum of decency towards me in my old age. It looks like I'll have enough money to outsource care, but I do hope they will oversee things and come visit from time to time.

But I'm talking reality here, PPs. Elder care sucks entirely. Your husband has no idea what he might be taking on, so don't encourage him. He can still be a loving son if he hires caregivers and keeps his parents in their home. This is what my MIL wants, and what my husband pays for: round the clock caregivers so she can stay in her home.[/quote]

OP here and I’m not the PP who wrote that back to you. But my ILs are in a two story house with no shower or bathroom or bedroom on the first floor. When their own parents did this they ended up living in a hospital bed in a single room and getting an occasional sponge bath while the house fell down around them. It still cost millions. Money aside (because they have it, and we could contribute a lot too) it was sad to watch and I know that is not what they truly want. If it was a relatively new one story house that would be different. [/quote]

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