Reply to Difficult time dealing with spouse on common sense

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[quote=Anonymous]Your spouse is not responding with animosity to your "common sense" but to your controlling nature.  You are a control freak.  In the early years of your relationship, he was trying to "go with the flow" and still saw greater value in your personal harmony.  After the honeymoon period of your relationship and marriage, he is finding that your controlling nature is very, very hard to live with and he is resisting.

It's very telling how you describe the problems.  You say that your spouse disagrees with you even in areas where you have 25 years of professional experience.  I have 30 years of professional experience, but my experience tells me to always be open to new ideas.  Just because something has worked for years, does not mean that changing conditions don't warrant reconsidering how you do something.  I rely on experience to determine a starting point, but the world continues to change and relying only on your experience can mean that you are stagnating rather that doing the right thing.  You also characterize his position as insecurity about certain things including parenting.  That's also wrong.  You can have parenting rules that you start from, but every child is different and what worked for you as a child or what worked for your parents or your neighbor or the family down the street may be wrong for your child.  You need to be open to considering that your child may need different options and you need to be open-minded.

All I read from your OP is that you are steadfast in believing that you are right, your spouse is wrong, that you have more experience and he needs to respect your experience and that you are tired of him arguing with you when you are right.  Control freak and a very strong one.

I can't tell who is right or wrong in any individual situation (although I believe you are wrong in both of your examples).  I only know that you are the type of partner that drives divorces statistics up.  You need to relax and be open to discussion, real discussion, not just you telling him and expecting him to kowtow to your decision, about your family life.  You seemingly go into arguments/discussions with only the intent to be right and have him follow, rather than being open to discuss and open to different ideas.  That's bad for a marriage and bad for parenting.[/quote]

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