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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have books to recommend though i totally agree with the poster who said don't give them self help books.

One thing I will say is focus on just enjoying the person. Don't get overwhelmed with guilt that you aren't doing everything to make every day special. Don't visit and fall apart over how sad it all is. Don't feel like you have to fulfill their every last wish unless the person is truly kind and reasonable about it. Just live in the moment. Do the things together that bring happy memories. Make a favorite meal, visit a favorite park, look at favorite photos. Let the person know how much he/she means to you.

My brother told me he liked my approach the best when he was dying. He hated people showing up and making it all about their grief and guilt and making him always feel like the sick pathetic one. We just spent time together like we always did. We went to a favorite restaurant. We shared stories. We made fun of eachother in a fun way-nothing mean or backhanded. I didn't treat him like my "dying brother" and constantly remind him of how awful and sad it was. I did cry some at the end and a whole lot when he was gone, but mostly what I tried to give him was normalcy and he said that is what he wanted most.[/quote]

NP. Your post made me cry. Thank you for sharing.[/quote]

Two criers here. I hope I was as great with my loved ones illness as you were. I certainly tried, but wondered what he “right thing” to do was. It sounds like you handled it beautifully [/quote]

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