Reply to toddler behavior question- looking back what would you have done differently?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish I had been more chill and not gotten angry over what I see now was normal behavior. I have a kid with severe anxiety (age 8) and can't help but think I caused some of it with my constant "stop that!" type stuff. Also don't compare your methods to other parents. All kids learn differently.[/quote]

+1
Major regrets about being too harsh with my sweet kids who are still sweet in their early teens[/quote]

+2 We have recently been focusing on good behaviors and ignoring bad behaviors and picking battles more carefully and not only does it work better for improving behavior but she also seems to be more confident in social situations. Sometimes she tells me lately that she "knows how to listen" because I've been telling her how she did a great job listening. She actually wants to do what I tell her, but partly because I am not constantly telling her what to do/what not to do.[/quote]

Pick your battles is my advice.  Let the child learn on her own as much as possible, with safety always being an exception, ie climbing on tables.  [b]Don't be one of those parents who gets on their kids about everything because you are afraid that people will judge you for their behavior. [/b] Other parents know that kids can be tough so let some stuff slide.  [/quote]

This. It's hard sometimes, but I always parent the way I want even when I know other adults are watching and potentially judging either me or my kid.

Also, all kids are different and you need to get used to the idea now that your child will not develop and mature in lock step with peers. I have had the experience of other parents noting that my kid seems "advanced" regarding certain areas of maturity, but I've also seen the looks on their faces when my kid demonstrates poor emotional control or is super rigid, and I know what those looks mean. It's fine. My child is an individual and I'm parenting her as she needs to be parented. It's very easy to look at someone else's child and think "Oh if they just did what I do, their child would behave like mine." Probably not, actually. They likely parent differently than you do because their kids are different and need different things. Their parenting might not be perfect but neither is yours, and your parenting might not work for their kid at all.[/quote]

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