Reply to DH broke no contact with my mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He’s his own person and a separate human being.  You want to cut off contact with someone, great.   But don’t tell him what to do. [/quote]

Oh please. He is an idiot.[/quote]

I do wonder if in his stress with a family emergency his brain just short circuited. From here on out, your mom's number should be blocked[/quote]

THIS, OP, this. Can you take one step back from your emotion for a second and see that possibly he responded unthinkingly and regretted it the instant he realized he'd hit "send"? Yes, "unthinking" is not good, but he's in another state from you, he knows you're stressed, he's surely stressed about the IVF and being on travel rather than with you, etc. Some here are saying he's out of state for a family emergency -- is that the case, OP? If so, you should give him a LOT more grace about one single mess-up. If not? Still give him the benefit of the doubt, especially if he was distracted by work or whatever has him on travel when he'd rather be with you.

It's not a good sign that your immediate, unthinking (yes, that again) reaction is to act as if this was some intentional betrayal he planned out in advance or whatever. Of course you're angry and rightly so, and his reply was dumb, but do you really want to expend energy on raging at him instead of saying, "That was a dumb slip, but you get one dumb slip, now block her number entirely so it won't happen again" --? That's all you can actually DO about it at this point; you can't undo it and neither can he, much as he might wish he could.

If you feel genuinely unsafe right now, tonight, as if your mom will show up at your doorstep in person, take action. Go to a hotel or a friend's house instead of spending energy venting here.

If you default this quickly to anger at him, instead of anger followed by some grace for a mistake [i]he's never made before[/i] -- it seems like a possible sign you need to do some work in therapy re: your mom and the abuse--before you have a baby. [/quote]

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