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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP

There’s nothing wrong with you. A part of you is trying to protect you from being hurt. Be curious and talk to it. Tell it thank you for trying to protect you. Let it know that you’ll be ok — because you will. You have always survived his anger. You have managed to keep your sense of self despite his controlling ways. And you need to tell him, I am not going to move. I do not want to sell. If you explode at me right now I am going to a hotel. And follow through. [/quote]

DP, This, above. And OP, be READY to follow through, like this PP notes. Have the car keys at hand, your purse ready to go, a hotel in mind, or a good friend lined up who will gladly let you stay the night. Maybe more than one night. He likely will not think you're serious when you tell him you will walk out the door so you have to follow through if he blows up.

You are telling him that not only do not want to move, you will not move, and the house sale is now moot because you and he are going to talk about the marriage instead. Expect him to react terribly.

Then [u]be glad and grateful you do not have any children with this man[/u], because you would be yoked to him through them.

OP, your post above about how scared you were even to talk to your husband of so many years is a very worrying post. Even if he has never physically harmed you or even threatened you physically, you sound terrified of him. [i]Take advantage of the fact you do not have kids to factor into any decision. Take advantage of the fact you make decent money.[/i] And get the hell out before you invest any more of your time and life and income in this man and this marriage. I very, very rarely post to an OP that she should just divorce but you need at least to consider it seriously. Meanwhile, please take care not to get pregnant no matter what.

When you can, please update us. He sounds controlling and very self-focused and I wonder if you, on some deeper level, fear he could become physically abusive? [/quote]

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