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Reply to "Kids in high achieving schools "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is at a magnet school in Moco and I'm not seeing this at all, at least not as a widespread phenomenon. The college admissions rat race can be awful, but a lot of it depends on how the parents support their kids and manage expectations. Is my kid grinding through and sleep deprived at times? Yes, but not all the time thankfully. Most importantly, DC feels satisfied and fulfilled by engaging with a curriculum that is appropriately challenging. DC sets their pace, not me, and we don't force any ECs they don't enjoy. So, even with very high stats and rigor, they probably won't get into HYPMS, but their college readiness will be outstanding and I feel confident they will do very well wherever they land. Most of the parents I know have the same attitude. There are a few extreme "Harvard, MIT or bust" parents who make their kids' lives miserable but that is the exception not the rule ime. Of course, mental health issues have intensified since the pandemic. I could see the combo of high-pressure schools, high-pressure parents, and that creating a toxic stew but, again, I haven't seen much of that in my kid's circles.[/quote] That's great, but it's also anecdata. The increased risk for negative outcomes for kids at high-achieving schools is well-established at this point. Yes, parents can do things to reduce that risk, but not if they don't know about it.[/quote] What parents these days don't know about it? Serious question.[/quote] Lol - most of DCUM, apparently. I have seen reference to this research maybe... twice? in all of the threads here (and I'm on here too much). Look at the panicked threads about college acceptance and private schools and the hand-wringing over sports and the various public schools. I want to know what data you have to suggest that most parents DO know about it.[/quote] It's nothing new. There was a book out ages ago. I thing it was called [b]The Overachievers[/b]. It was about kids at Whitman and the pressure they face. Anecdotally, I think it's a mixed bag these days in high performance schools. Mental health resources are much better. Parents seem to be much more aware of how debilitating putting that kind of pressure on kids can be, particularly when it comes to colleges. And I think kids tend to be nicer and more empathic these days. The downsides are social media, isolation, the lingering effects of Covid closures, and how dangerous drugs are these days. It takes one bad decision to OD. Also, our general era doesn't feel very positive these days, particularly for younger people. From affording a house to climate change to politics, nothing looks particularly good. You need to pay attention to where your teenager is at. [/quote] Please don't compare glorified voyeurism by Alexandra Robbins to actual peer-reviewed research, e.g., that done by the late Suniya Luthar (an actual expert), about high-achieving schools. Moreover, there's a difference between parents acknowledging that schools like Whitman are pressure-cookers and them realizing that those kinds of environments substantially increase risk for later mood and substance disorders. Also, mosey on over to the college forum if you think parents are aware of the pressure they're putting on kids. Some are, sure, and probably more so than in the past; there are still far too many who don't blink at the impossible standards they set, let alone demonstrating awareness of the specific risks.[/quote]
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