Reply to Coming to terms with the fact I may never get married

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, can you elaborate on this?

"It seems like for one reason or another the relationship fizzles out. I’ve dated a few guys seriously as well but they always have red flags (emotional issues, etc.)"

why have things not worked out in the past?  Are your standards too high?  Are you finding flaws where there are none because of a fear of commitment?[/quote]

OP here. It’s happened a few times that the guy loses interest in me around the 6 month or year mark. And tbh I wasn’t really wild about him either. Kind of meh on both sides. [/quote]

Now that this has happened a couple of times and you aren’t conscious of that pattern, make it work for you. Pay close attention to why you think that is. What behaviors did you engage in at the beginning that attracted these people but fizzled out later? Were you more attentive at first and then it was too much work? Were you high ebergy and then became low energy? Were you super interesting/interested and then got comfortable and complacent to the point of being boring? (Sometimes that can also lead to being bored with him too which might explain the “meh—I’m not that into you anymore either” reaction.)
You can’t fix what happened before and you can’t fix the guy, but you can use these experiences as tools to learn what to be aware of and try to find common threads.
If it falls apart after you get lazy and stop nurturing the other person, then resolve to be hyper-aware if this and fix it.[/quote]

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