Reply to Does having three get harder or easier as they get older?

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[quote=Anonymous]New poster: These answers are interesting. I wish posters would state whether they have 3 kids and if so, what their ages are. Some of these answers feel like they are parents of younger kids and/or parents with two kids. Which is fine, but not necessarily a great insight on what it is like to raise three kids into teens/adulthood.

My three are 18, 16, and 14--oldest just left for college last month. Over the years, it's gotten easier in some ways and harder in others.

As sweet as it was, I personally was really ready to say goodbye to stage you're in with yours right now. It's so physically demanding and even a trip to the pool was pretty hairy. It was a glorious day when my youngest became as strong a swimmer as her siblings.

I know a lot of people hate the teenage stage--and it does come with a special set of high-stakes issues and worries--but I really love teenagers. They're just so smart and insightful and they feel things SO deeply. I keenly remember how challenging this time is and I have a lot of patience with mine as they try to become independent.

My three (girl, boy, girl) are actually all pretty close, with the two sisters being exceptionally close. It's absolutely heartwarming to overhear them talk about their days and give each other advice and support. Because of their ages (and your kids' ages) they have a chance to have many shared experiences, which is really special.

There have been various times when all three were in crisis of one kind of another and that is tiring. In our house we've had mental health issues, physical health issues, a very late autism diagnosis, and some absolutely horrific friend drama. Any one of those is a lot, but having 3 kids in crisis is truly exhausting. But overall, our home has been a place of love and connection. I would actually say the hardest year was not a year when we had three teens ... it was when we had one each in elementary, middle, and high school. That year was a bit of a blur.

Now that my oldest is living at college, I'm a little shocked at how much "simpler" things seem to be only two at home. I definitely have more bandwidth. And when one kid is off doing their own thing it's kind of amazing to have that time with two adults and one kid--even if the kid isn't really wanting to do something with us, it feels nice to be able to offer.

Having one in college also made me very aware of how quickly this time passes, so I'm trying to soak it up.

I'm not sure if you are looking for advice exactly, but I would suggest trying to step away from thinking of parenting as really ever being "easier" or "harder." Every stage has its challenges and joys.

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