Reply to I’m on the autism spectrum. How I wish people could have helped me socially

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if I'm socially awkward because of the weird parents I grew up with or because of being undiagnosed with autism, but I have been so grateful to the people who've moved through my life and told me things I needed to know in a very direct, straight-forward way. "Don't start a conversation with someone with the phrase you know what your problem is."  "Stop saying 'you should ...' to people."  "When you reach out to invite someone  to something instead of saying [b]"what are you doing this weekend?" instead say "I was thinking we could go to X Sunday morning - want to come?"  [/b]"Don't open the window or change the thermostat in someone else's home, just ask if they can make it cooler." [/quote]

What?  What’s wrong with asking people what they’re doing this weekend?  It’s a very common prelude to an invite. [/quote

It's intrusive.[/quote]

I think the objection is if you
Ask this as a means of inviting someone to do something with you rather than just casually expressing an interest in what they’re up to.

When it’s an opener to an invite,  it’s socially impolite because it puts them on the spot to tell you their plans and if they say “nothing” and it’s followed by your invitation to go rock throwing on skunk mountain, they are now stammering and stuck because you’ve trapped them and they have no polite “out” —
But if you lead with “hey Larla—do you want to go wine tasting on George Clooney’s yacht with me this weekend?” then she is informed upfront about the activity.
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