Reply to Husband wants to move out of DMV but my job is here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assuming you met and married in DC. Had he ever given an indication of wanting this? Did you think he meant in retiremen,.not while kids were young? Granted the cost of living may be lower there, but how does he propose to make up for your income, retirement savings, college savings, etc?

I'm thinking he's depressed and miserable about something. It could be the marriage or just the daily grind of work and kids. When he goes on vacation to remote places he forgets his problems and is happy. So he thinks if only he could move then he would be happy all the time! Except if that becomes his home, all of his problems from work and how will follow. Then you will have given up a whole lot for him to still be miserable. [/quote]

+1. He’s experiencing the trapped feeling that many of us feel when we realize that our lives are no longer autonomous and are in service to our families and children. If you relocate, he’ll be depressed at his laptop doing his job that he probably finds dull in another location. He won’t be fly fishing at 10 am or relaxing by a firepit at 7 pm- he’ll be working or driving a kid home from soccer. Except soccer will be an hour away on a dark, narrow road.

How did you DH end up in northern VA anyway? Unless you moved to his rural town, met him, and dragged him there, where you live now is kind of on him and he needs to take some ownership. He can go wherever he wants when he retires, but not now unless he can cover both of your salaries with his sad little basement job.[/quote]

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