Reply to Abusive ex and controlling behavior with kid

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what is your primary goal with respect to this issue? And how much does your kid know and understand about how their dad operates? And how old is the kid?

Because to me all of those things change my reaction - at least somewhat. If the kid is still pretty young - 13 or 14 and doesn't really understand how their father operates - then I'm going to do my best to shield my kid. But even at 13/14 a kid can decide whether they want to engage in this exercise with their father. How does your child feel about this? On its face, it doesn't seem like a terrible idea and you pushing back too hard makes it seem like you are being obstructionist.

If your kid is 16/17, then it's a different story and I think you can speak frankly about the difference between being taught financial responsibility and financial control/coercion and let your child decide how much to comply with this card arrangement.

Overall, I think you should be conveying the message that loving relationships aren't about control and one way to be safe from financial control is financial independence.

As far as the location tracking, I get the concern, but is that already happening with Find My iPhone or the like?[/quote]

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