Reply to How long did it take to get over /feel somewhat normal after spouse’s affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dear friend made a conscious decision to move beyond the pain and come out the other side. She is trying to enjoy life despite it and is surprisingly succeeding with her DH making major life changes. He was terrified and ashamed and now she says they appreciate what was almost lost. She’s amazing and has always seen life more in shades than me. Her DH doesn’t deserve her. I hate him now. [/quote]

Continue to support her.  And if she could forgive him, you should try to do the same for her benefit.  A lot of people keep this stuff to themselves because they know family or friends would never be able to forgive…and that makes life difficult for the betrayed if they have moved on and the spouse has done the work and is truly remorseful.

However, if he was always an @-hole that you never liked from the start- that’s different.  [/quote]

I did like him. He doesn’t know I know so I have to act normal. I continue to support whatever she wants and did not tell my own DH. All I can do is listen but this is one of those times it is not easy being a friend. [/quote]

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