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Reply to "Help me understand why this is aggravating and how to explain to my mom"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. What about, “The most helpful thing you can do for me right now is manage your own anxiety around my health rather than asking me to manage it for you. That means you can’t rely on EXACT details of what I ate and how I’m feeling to reassure you. You will have to find a different way to manage your anxiety about it. As I’ve told you before, I will absolutely notify you if there is any change in my health or employment or anything significant. But I won’t give you minute details about what I’m eating or feeling or what appointments I went to or how much leave I have left.” [b]Does that work? [/b]I need a script, but a more gentle script than what people often suggest for boundary-setting![/quote] Not really. Other than saying you won’t share what you’re eating, you haven’t really set any boundaries. There’s nothing in this script that sets a boundary around the constant texting. You haven’t addressed that at all. You need to tell her when you will respond and when you won’t. Clear is kind. [/quote] I just posted, but I agree with "clear is kind." Telling her the day and time you will text each week is a good boundary especially with someone anxious. Make clear you will not respond to anything else so she isn't shocked when you don't respond. Then enforce it. If you bend on the boundary at all, you reinforce her crazy. It is worth it to do this. Anxiety is not the innocent and sweet disorder I thought it was when it goes untreated. With my mother she just escalates and then throws fits. You calmly stick to the boundary and eventually she may just lose it enough to get proper help.[/quote]
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