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[quote=Anonymous]Eeek! DD sounds selfish and entitled.

I have several friends that play an important part in looking after their grandkids but it is a cooperative situation. 
- All three generation lives in the same house and share the costs, responsibilities etc.  They outsource everything but childcare by pooling resources. 
- AC live close to elderly parents. Everything but childcare is outsourced for AC and GP. Grandkids are dropped off and picked up from grandparents home.  
- Elderly parents and IL, take turns for several months living with AC and they provide childcare. Everything but childcare is outsourced by AC. AC pays for traveling cost and all cost of parents living with them.  
- Elderly parents provide childcare in their own house for a few hours and only a couple days. AC or spouse are present and work from parents' home. Household chores are outsourced  in both homes.
- Elderly parent go to AC homes and they provide companionship and keep an eye on things.  AC keeps a nanny and also outsources household chores.

All of this happens in our circle of friends. These are south east asian families and the level of trust and bonding is there culturally within families.  This is not only acceptable but also seen as the best way to raise kids and also have the parents continue to work.   But the expectation that grandparents HAVE to provide childcare or will be available all the time or provide childcare on weekends etc is not there. Respect for the grandparents and concern for their health and wellbeing is there in the ACs.  Nannies and other service providers are hired because this is a temporary situation.  
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