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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "Those who used a donor egg and/or older mothers, are you happy with decision?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Had my twins from DE, delivered a few days shy of my 45th birthday and they are 12 now. The donor egg element is something I almost never think about anymore - though it was huge for me during the process, and in the first few years. Now it's just part of their story and rarely even comes up. One of my kids is eager to reach out and connect w/ the donor and half-siblings (if possible) when she turns 18. When that comes up I have to wrestle w/ my feelings a bit, so that may be hard when it happens, but I'll deal with it. They are shockingly like me in so many ways it seems bizarre to remind myself that they are genetically so different. My age was not a factor in the pregnancy - I had a straightforward pregnancy, carried to term, managed c-section, and very easy recovery from surgery. The age thing troubles me more as they (and I) get older. Since they were born I watched both of my parents decline rapidly and die - which took a TON of my time and energy to support. I was in my 50's when that was happening but my kids will probably only be in their 30's when they're faced with the same stress - and I find that very sobering. I know how hard it was, and I will hate to put them through that early in life. That said, my kids are growing up w/ tremendous privilege - a full time nanny, travelling the world, lots of lessons/extra-curriculars, will have college fully paid, etc... My husband and I are both savers and were in excellent financial shape when we had kids, so while we may not be around for them in mid-life, they will start adulthood without debt and may come into money early enough to really help w/ buying a home, supporting a family, etc... So it's all tradeoffs. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. Do I wish I were 10 years younger? Absolutely. But if I were, I'd have had different kids. So the woulda/coulda/shouldas aren't really of much use.[/quote]
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