Reply to Too tired to care for my mom, who wants to live onto her mid 90’s…

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Never move a parent into your house… ever.

Over 55 communities are not nursing homes and they are amazing.[/quote]

And they ...  cost money. A lot of money. Not everyone can afford that.

OP, I'm sorry for how hard this is. My mother is 80 and in great health, physically and mentally. I have no idea how long she will live (her parents lived into their early 90s).

I just know the next decade will be difficult, probably starting with something sudden. And she has not made any real plans.[/quote]

People need to plan for that. It was much cheaper for my mom to move to an over 55 community than to stay in the family home.[/quote]

God bless my Mom!!!  My dad passed away from terminal cancer at 76.  My mom was 73.  They had been in the family home for 50 years.  They kept it up well, renovated, great condition.

She had worked as a nurse and head administrator at assisted living facilities in the area and her own mother used to tell her don't wait too long to move into an over-55.

My mom is 79.  Bought a 2-bedroom condo at a very nice over-55 that has assisted living on site if the time comes.  She is incredibly active and young looking (people place her late 60s). But, she's realistic she turns 80 in October.  She sold the house this summer, did all of the painful down-sizing and sorting through 50 years of 'stuff'.  It was very emotional and incredibly draining and she keeps saying she can't imagine doing this any older than she is.  She has a few friends from the neighborhood (same age) that are still waiting to move 'not ready' and it is going to get ugly.

It's a gift you give your children--having all your sh*t in order and not burdening them.  My mom is my total role model now.[/quote]

This is so true! Your mom is awesome and a role model. My mother is too special to downsize and move. She barely worked ever and has been retired from part time for decades. She just feels sorry for herself her days of fancy travel are over. Without dad she takes out anger on me and complains I don’t cater to her. She has never been a helper type and she burns through friends and family with her entitlement. It’s so sad. Endless free time, lots of money and all she does is rain on hard working folks’ parades.[/quote]

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