Reply to Good friend that I looked up to is a cheater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  The house purchase timeline is a fact, the “new boyfriend” statement is a fact and my son who was with me at their house also noticed a change is his friend (my friend’s son). A prior PP hit the nail on the head.  It’s the fast combining of two families with kids, and the kids seems down about it (plus the inaccurate statement to me) that was out of alignment with the way I thought I knew my friend.  [/quote]

And you still don't realize that your timeline is a made-up, and there is no evidence of cheating. There will never be. So you might as well dump this person, because apparently you tend to believe the worse of people.

[/quote]

She let it slip that they’d been together since “the height of the pandemic.”  But both were married to other people until the late 2022 timeframe.  New house purchased earlier in 2023, yet said yesterday he’s her “new boyfriend.”  My best guess is she wants people to view it this way, which actually is a kinder narrative for the kids involved. [/quote]

Even accepting that narrative - 6 months to meet a new boyfriend, buy a house and move in together with kids shows seriously poor judgment.

A very good friend of mine cheated.  My own partner cheated extensively on me.  Friend lied about friend’s own cheating, despite (or perhaps because) friend knew my partner cheated on me.   Cheaters are manipulative by nature. They would prefer to construct a public persona in which they are a great spouse and parent, even if that is constructed on lies.

Talking to her about it will not change anything.

In my case, I chose to stay “friends” but not very close because my child and the cheater’s child were friendly. I really liked and wanted to support the kid.  But, honestly, the friendship between me and the parent cheater is very superficial.

[/quote]

Thanks for this PP. This is exactly how I'm feeling about it now.

Also I recall back when she was first separating I asked if they were going to try to work it out. She said no she was done, and she was trying to find someone for her husband so he could move on. I thought it was strange thing to say, but now it makes more sense.  [/quote]

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